Tackling Stress, Burnout, and Overwhelm:
Action-Oriented Counseling
The Occupational Hazard of Stress
Stress is an unwelcome companion for many professionals. Whether you're a lawyer navigating complex cases, or a helping professional dedicated to the well-being of others, the sheer weight of responsibility can sometimes feel overwhelming... But sometimes, it's more than that.
If you're here, you might feel...
Overwhelmed by the stress of trying to do too much, for too many people, with insufficient resources, and enormous consequences for any mistake you might make
Exhausted, but also unable to disconnect, rest, enjoy a break, or leave work at work
Isolated from family and friends, because you can't share the details of what you see and do, or because even if you did, they wouldn't understand
Fundamentally changed (and for the worse) by the pain, sorrow, and harm you've heard about and seen
Like you've lost the energy, passion, and motivation you used to have... You contemplate changing careers, leaving for a more lucrative, but far less meaningful job in the private sector, or even "quiet quitting"
Panicked or dreadful, as you think about the next workday, the next case, or the next client meeting
So frustrated, bitter, and angry over the smallest setbacks or obstacles, that you sometimes can't help but take it out on someone who didn't deserve it
You might have heard some of these feelings referred to as burnout, compassion fatigue, or vicarious trauma, and you've probably also seen some of the typical solutions: employer-sponsored "self-care" workshops that cover taking up yoga and creating work-life balance, but never explain how to get past the overwhelming feelings you have. Or, self-help books filled with "hacks" that might have worked, if you had the time and money to try each one for yourself… Other self-help options may have been helpful in some ways: hanging out with colleagues on a “mental health Monday” might have given you a sense of connection. Venting online might have offered a (somewhat anonymous) outlet for some of the worst things that crossed your mind. The trouble is that none of these things have been enough to fix the problem. If you’re here, you might even wonder whether it’s possible to fix.
The good news is you can stop wondering: It is absolutely possible to “fix” things, although it's not the kind of fix you might imagine.
You’re not a toaster or a car, and “fixing” how you feel won’t mean getting you back to "brand-new" condition, the way you were when you just started out… and you might not even want to go back to that self. After all, you've earned the benefit of wisdom and experience. There's also no magic wand. Life won't become stress-free, and you won't be immune to its ups and downs. In reality, this kind of “fix” is about making choices: you get to choose to keep the good, while learning to process, make peace with, and let go of the bad. Ultimately, you decide what falls in each category, and you choose whether to make other life changes along the way. You work to re-gain a sense of control over your own experience. Regardless, you don’t have to make these choices on your own. These choices might even be easier to make with pacing and guidance, and while learning the skills you need to make a lasting changes.
Imagine what it might feel like to...
-
Have enough mental space and focus to be great at work, and at other things that matter: Would you be a great friend? a great adult child for your parents? a great parent and partner?
-
Be calm and even-keeled most of the time, even in stressful, high-stakes situations: Would you show more poise? Would you make decisions more easily? Would others notice?
-
Enjoy your rest and get enough of it to feel refreshed and ready when Monday comes: What incredible things could you accomplish, if you had that energy? Would you take on a new hobby? Go to the gym regularly? Try your hand at a side hustle?
-
Know what you need to be well, and how to help yourself bounce back, whenever something throws you off your game: Would you move with a newfound confidence? be a role model for others?
Action-Oriented Counseling: It's exactly what it sounds like.
If someone asked you to imagine what counseling looks like, would an image of laying on a couch, talking about your childhood spring to mind? It's okay. That's a common stereotype, and there are certainly therapists who use this kind of approach. Those therapists most often use an "insight-oriented" approach to counseling. Insight-oriented counseling delves into understanding the underlying causes of a client’s thoughts and behaviors, often exploring past experiences and emotional processes. This approach aims to foster self-awareness and personal insight as a means to facilitate change. In contrast, Action-oriented counseling focuses on helping clients take specific, practical steps to address their issues and achieve their goals. This approach emphasizes developing skills and implementing strategies to achieve a specific, tangible outcome. Clients and their therapists work together to...
identify, revise, or let go of stress-inducing thought patterns,
recognize, accept, and build tolerance for difficult emotions,
develop skills to embrace and be fully present for positive experiences,
take actions consistent with personal values, even when these actions are difficult or uncomfortable.
Said differently, while insight-oriented approaches can help you figure out why you are struggling, action-oriented approaches can help you identify how to make the changes necessary so you start feeling better.
If a little bit of help could get you there, isn't it worth a try?
It's easier than you think:
1.
Reach Out
Call, email, or complete an online form. schedule a brief, virtual consultation (free of charge).
2.
Meet
We meet to figure out if we're a good fit, answer your questions, and discuss logistics, like availability and fees.
3.
Get to Work
We begin working together, first by coming up with a plan and clear goals, then by starting to follow that plan.
4.
Succeed
You start to move closer to your goals: building new skills, gaining perspective, and realizing your vision for the future.
Frequently asked questions about counseling:
1.
Your list includes an approach or tool I'd like to try. Do you take clients for a specific approach (e.g., EMDR)?
No. I don't take clients whose fit with me is dependent on the use of a specific tool. Whether any tool would be helpful to you is an evaluation question. It takes a bit of work to answer that question, and I don't take that work lightly. So, I would never promise that if we worked together, we'd use any specific tool. We shouldn't decide to work together based on that.
2.
Do you take health insurance?
Not yet. 'Emerge Calm' is too small to make insurance credentialing and billing feasible right now. This may change in the future. I am considered 'out of network' but you should check your plan: some plans allow out of network reimbursement, and I'll gladly provide any documentation you need for that purpose.
3.
How much do you charge? Or, what is your session fee?
My regular session fee is $150. Take a look at my fees page for reduced-fee options and other pricing information.
4.
I’m located in a different state than the ones you list (MA and MS) … But if we’re going to meet virtually, why does it matter where I’m located? Why can’t you work with clients who live in other states, or even outside the U.S.?
Licensed counselors can’t see clients virtually in states where they aren't licensed to practice, because it would constitute practicing without a license. I am licensed in MS and MA, so I can only see clients in those states. Importantly, these rules apply even when clients are on vacation - we can't meet when you are somewhere other than the states where I'm licensed.
However, some changes are expected in this realm, which may help solve many problems arising from cross-state practice (and may help you have some additional options for therapy!). Mississippi, along with 35 other states, has passed the Counseling Compact, which will enable licensed counselors to receive a practice privilege in other Compact states. When compact privilege becomes an option, I expect to expand the number of states in which I offer services, and surely, many others will do so as well.
5.
I'm concerned about someone other than myself (a friend or loved one). I think you could help them, but they aren't motivated to get help. How can I help connect them with you?
I appreciate your concern and care. However, it's important for you to know that counseling is the kind of process that just doesn't work very well if someone isn't ready to engage. I know that's frustrating to hear, but if you are concerned about someone, your best bet is to gently talk to them about your concerns and offer support. For example, you can offer to accompany a friend to their first appointment with a new counselor, or take them to a support group meeting they choose to attend for the first time. You can share a link to my website, if you think we might be a good fit, but then let the person make the ultimate decision on whether to reach out, and if so, to whom.
6.
Do you ever work with kids or with entire families?
Because my counseling practice is entirely virtual, providing therapy to younger children and entire families can be very challenging, and often less-than effective. I think that, in most cases, you are likely better off finding a provider who can do this work in person. Ideally, you may be able to access in-home therapy. However, I do regularly work with couples in crisis, and occasionally, do evaluation work for children and their families (primarily in juvenile justice or custody matters). You can learn more about the latter by visiting the evaluation page, and are welcome to reach out if you'd like to discuss a specific situation in which I may be of help.
7.
My schedule is really busy, and I'm concerned about availability. What are your hours?
Hours and availability change with some frequency - that's why they're not posted. Here are the general trends: weekday mornings are often most available, while late afternoon appointments (5pm or later) are usually booked up, and sometimes waitlisted. I generally don't schedule regular counseling appointments on weekends or after 6pm CST/ 7pm EST.